tearonthefire: (Taarna)
[personal profile] tearonthefire
I wanted to write something on mother's day but I'm not really sure what I would like to say. Maybe I really don't have anything to say. Holidays, of any kind, hold no meaning for me and that includes my birthday. They just don't make any scenes and their only purpose seems to be to serve the retail sector.

I mean, if you'd like to do something special for someone, why would you wait for a designated day to do it. If it really meant something, wouldn't you want to do it right away. For instance, I was cursed with the perpetually received socks or underwear. Sure it's the thought that counts, sure someone might need undies but I literally had enough socks and underwear to fill a 70 letter storage container that would constantly pop open from being over filled. Now if I needed socks or underwear, which I do consider essential because I hate wearing shoes sans socks and commando style is just uncomfortable, I would want them as soon as possible, not in a couple of weeks or months when a special occasion came around.

I would love to bitch unending about the whole socks or underwear thing but I don't think that's what is important right now. What I'm centred on right now is the whole one day to thank someone or show appreciation to someone. And another thing that's often missed in posts like this, is the exception from those someones to receive that thanks or appreciation. Mother's day is a perfect example of this. If you really cared about your mother, wouldn't you show it all year long? Wouldn't you take her shopping or fix her plumbing or do some other thing that you wouldn't be obliged to do? And if you were the year round recipient of such displays of caring, why would you then demand or guilt trip someone into marking off one day to do just a little bit more, or in some cases a whole lot more.

People should be grateful for what they receive all year long and becoming upset or angry when Christmas rolls around and the person who has done so much for you the rest of the time doesn't give you the spectacular gift you want, just shows how gluttonous and ungrateful you are. The perfect example of this behaviour IS mother's day, how many mother's have said, 'if you don't care enough to even get a card'. Well if this is truly the case and you have a child you never see or talk to for the entire year and you don't 'even get a card' then you have something to worry about. But, if last week your son or daughter took you shopping and the week before bought you lunch, then you as a parent need to grow up.

And this goes for all 'special days'. If you don't get flowers on your anniversary but you've never had to put gas in your car or your wife makes great dinners every night, then you really need to shut up. Birthdays, Christmases, valentines, everything. If 'something more' needs to be done on these days, that outdoes the regular days, then something is missing in your life.

Okay, so I am going to rant about my 20 years worth of socks or underwear. And it was literally 20 years worth. This shows the opposite end of this spectrum, those who do nothing for you the entire year but feel the need to do or give some token to commemorate the day. For me, every single holiday where gifts were given, a handful of my relatives gave me either socks or underwear. And not fancy socks or underwear, or special socks or underwear, or well made socks or underwear, just plain, cheapest in the bin, socks or underwear. I'm using the phrase 'socks or underwear' monotonously to try to convey the nature of this kind of gift given. These people, and I'll admit that this doesn't apply to everyone, usually don't think about you any other time of the year. Most of the time you never even get a phone call from them but they need to arrive with a package marked with your name.

This isn't 'the thought that counts', this is clearly embarrassment or compulsion on their part. These people feel that if they are the only ones arriving without a gift for you, it will single them out. They truly believe that any gift, no matter how poorly chosen, is better than no gift and elevates them above those who give nothing, or give just a card. To worsen the experience, they and others feel that you should be grateful for their thoughtful gift of socks or underwear. This would be like being grateful to someone for giving you a cold or flu. It's an utterly mindless, and I mean mindless as in it takes no thought at all, gift. It's a gift chosen as they passed by the socks or underwear section on their way to buy themselves something. Or worse, to buy another party goer a better thought out gift.

The truly valuable token to commemorate some special day by a seldom seen socks or underwear giver should be, just being there. If you don't see them often and you truly appreciate getting together on those rare special occasions, then the present is their presents. See how those words are identical, the case I'm trying to make is probably why the same word was used.

These two sides of the same coin, that is the demand for a special day and the obligation to give some anything, shows an ugliness. This coin is a truly tarnished and dirty penny that's cast by these people into the path of all humanity, marring the tapestry of life and drawing attention to their own menial value, as if it were some jewel to be picked up and cherished.
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